Some thoughts for my younger fans - On school, bullying & feeling alone

So I’ve been seeing a lot of talk about ‘13 Reasons Why’ recently. It has given me something I want to say to my younger fans & followers who may be dealing with tough, shitty times at school, college, social media or life in general.

When I was a kid in secondary school (it’s kind of our version of high school in Ireland) I experienced a lot of bullying, as did many kids there. Young people in this situation often feel completely helpless and powerless to change anything.  It’s even been a theme in my songs at times. I get messages from a lot of you who know this and who are going through similar things.

It’s hard to ask for help for many reasons: shame, fear of feeling or looking weak, the nasty emotional blackmail of that manipulative, bully-enabling social rule: ‘If you report someone who hurt you, that makes you a rat’. We (old farts) were lucky enough to at least have peace from it at home, I cannot begin to imagine how intrusive bullying can feel in the social media age. My heart goes out to those of you who have to deal with that bullshit.

I’m not writing this to tell you it’s all ok and it doesn’t matter – I know this shit cuts deep and it hurts like hell, every day. People will pass it off as ‘kids being kids’ or ‘banter’ but nah, it fucking sucks and it can completely ruin one’s teenage years. I remember feeling pretty hopeless when adults would spout off about how these were ‘the best years of my life’ (Spoiler – they definitely weren’t).

The reason I’m writing this is to let you know that school is not the ubiquitous be all & end all experience of your life that it can feel like when you’re there. The roles that others try to put you into now don’t define you and never will. School ends and people go their own way in life. You can get through it.

So if you’re dealing with bullying, hopelessness, depression, suicidal feelings – please talk to someone. A parent, a friend, a school councellor, the Samaritans, a like minded internet community or a subreddit like r/depression. There are options. No matter how alone you feel, there are others who know how you feel and understand it. It’s ok to open up and to bring yourself the care & help you deserve. You’re not weak to do it. On the contrary, it makes you brave and strong enough to confront things we are all afraid of.

For every nasty bully in the world there are ten times as many good hearted people who want others to be ok and want to help. I know it doesn’t feel like it in school years but we outnumber them and always will. Many of them even grow up to be better people, always regretful of how they treated others in school.

You are as deserving of love & joy as anyone else and I believe in you. You have a long, exciting road ahead of you and the world is a much larger place than those classrooms, corridors and campuses. Many of the coolest, most successful and most interesting people I know were social outcasts in school. I wish you strength, happiness and love. Keep rockin’.

Gav